In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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