Your tits are I can't wait for
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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