Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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