i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
