i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm an idiot
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
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