I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i believe in u and ur pee
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
