You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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