ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize