I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
