So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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