Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
