She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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