I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize