If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
