SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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