Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
