He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
