it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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