i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
