My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
my poor anus
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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