this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
