and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
