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  • 72 66
    Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Jul 31, 12 at 7:05pm

    Really good if you want everyone to assume your boyfriend is beating you. (I hope for your sake he's not--and if he is, GTFO, *now*.) If you got those bruises from sexyfuntimes, just 'fess up. Your friends may judge but they'll be jealous. :-)

  • 66 59
    Submitted by Squarewheel on Jul 31, 12 at 7:10pm

    This one started off weak but finished strong.

  • 70 74
    Submitted by GentlemanInBlack on Jul 31, 12 at 2:00pm

    The knob part of it is true, at least.

  • 70 77
    Submitted by TheAmy_ on Jul 31, 12 at 8:12pm

    Who doesn't love an angry doorknob

  • 55 71
    Submitted by jbwarner86 on Aug 1, 12 at 11:56am

    Just use the old standard "I walked into a baseball."

  • 56 75
    Submitted by SheffboyRD on Jul 31, 12 at 6:48pm

    What happens when a retard tries to hump a doorknob.