So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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