...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
