we're chasing vodka with high fives
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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