Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
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Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
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