please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
