Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
