I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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