I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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Rubbing your bare vag in snow will drop your breathilizer score by a full half point. If you get pulled over, jump out before the cop gets to your car. Then start rubbing. Works every time.
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
Frozen Puss! Get your Frozen Puss here!
I've never heard of a girl actually trying out her cameltoe.
It's ok, the saltiness will help the snow melt....
Good morning snowball?