It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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