Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
