I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
