I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
