I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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