I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
