I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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