Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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