i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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