i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i dont even know how to be here
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
