I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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