I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So vagazzling was a success
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
