fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
