I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
