how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize