Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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