you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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