bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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