this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
