Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
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