we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
