i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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