Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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