There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize