I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
