Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
