I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
