Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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