But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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