and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
