i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
