why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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