fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
