I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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