what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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