omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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