why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
kristin has been a bad kristin
4 words: hood of his car
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
